Today is a fantastic day for a hike; clear blue sky with a high of 27 degrees celcius.  Hence, a drive to visit the Cheltenham Badlands in Calendon, and the hamlet of Belfountain.  Well, was much of a hike for the serious hikers, but I did manager to get some nice shots of the area.  There was a bit of reminiscing here as well, as Belfountain was a favourite destination many years ago when we lived in Mississauga.  During the summer months, the ice cream parlors are extremely popular in Belfountain, coupled with the visit to the conservation area close by.  Yes indeed, a fine day for a stroll or a hike.

My profound sympathies to all those mothers who waited all day for a call from their child(ren) which never came.  I know it would not be as bad if they have had contact with the kids throughout the year.  For some of those mothers who have been estranged for a long time, the hope, it seems, is that with the coming of Mother's Day, the child would think of the happy things which their mom had done with them in the past...in essence all the good memories.  It was also hoped that this would trigger a communication of "how are you mom, I'm fine...will talk again"....this would have made one particular mom extremely happy.  Unfortunately for some, this hoped for scenario did not occur.

A message to my son...practices in the past by myself is not necessarily right.  I may have been unhappy in the past, but have never severed communication with your grandparents COMPLETELY.  In retrospect, I am glad I did not do this as it would have been extremely cruel.  As you know, I do speak with them like regular clock work now, even it only for only a minute.  All your mom wants is just a word from you saying you are okay, with no other expectations.  In the final analysis, even you must accept responsibilities for your actions.  I'm not here to judge you, and you know you are well loved, just a hope we'll see you again before we pass on.  There is still time....

Well, finally made it to Quebec City!  I've always wanted to visit the Citadel in Quebec as it is probabably the last remaining walled fortress left in Canada, if not North America.  Generally, what strikes me was the similarity of the architecture of the buildings to those in Colchester, UK.  Indeed, it is pretty much a glimpse of what was hundreds of years ago.  Amongst all the hussle and bussle of the business' is the Cathedral.  Sitting in the cathedral for a few minutes, one marvel at the contrast...the silence and peace associated with any holy ground; perfect setting for introspection....then out you go to visit the pub.

It's a wonderful evening!  Temperature of 8oC, with clear blue sky.  Snow on the sidewalk is all but gone.  Yes indeed, the first inkling of spring.  I'm looking at a tree outside my living room and noticing the buds.  Yes indeed, the promise of spring.  It feels good to be alive, and for a moment, cast away the worries of the day and shrug off the days weariness.  Yes, life is good.

Happy Birthday Alex!!!  Hope things are going well for you.  Your mom and I decided last night that we would go out today and find a nice restaurant and celebrate your birth.  Pretty much what we usually do on your birthday every year except this will be the first time without you.  Yep, we choose a restaurant over at Don Mills and Steeles. You would have liked it, as the selection was quite good.

I had a dream last night.  I dreamt I ran into you at some convention.  You were with a group of pro-environmentalist.  You actually approached me and told me you are getting counseling, and you have more or less regained a sense of balance in your life and realize there are aspects and occurrences that we do not control.  You also mentioned you will keep in touch, but will not come home per se.  I actually woke up elated because that is all your mother and I ask in reality.  We do not wish to interfere with your choices or path in life, only to know that you are happy and well.  If only dreams can become reality.......

Happy birthday son.

It's a gorgeous morning out there!  Temperature at 1000h now sits at -8oC.  I caught myself thinking of taking a run into Peterborough to see my son....I guess old habits are kinda hard to break, especially when it's associated with something positive, fun times.  Yeah, I've always enjoyed going up to see him and having a meal together.  It was nice, hearing him talk of what he's up to; going through the ritual of "which restaurant shall we go to".  In the summer time, we would sometimes bring up food and have a picnic.  Those were fun too.  Sometimes it would be on the ground of the university, and sometimes we would stop at the one of the parkettes off Water St overlooking the river.  I would think with the melting snow, the Otonabee River would be swollen, can be a litlle intimidating as the river runs close to the road.  I guess the rising water sometimes bring back the memories of trips through the deep gorge between Bog Walk and Spanish Town in Jamaica...very scary after a heavy rain fall.  Funny, one of my many regrets...I never took him to Jamaica to show him my old home.  My sister mentioned she will be taking her oldest daughter back during march break to see the old haunts.  There was a twing of regret of not sharing this with Alex when I had the chance.

For you folks out there, don't put off the little things in life, kids grow up pretty fast and there is no rewind...lost opportunities, and depending on whether you get another shot at it, deep regrets.

I guess I'll have to settle for getting a haircut today...or not.  Very poor substitute indeed.

Dear son,
I hope all is going well for you in your life.  I just thought I would let you know what's happening at home, although I know it is more than likely you would not see this posting.

Things are much better for both your mother and myself.  We are both keeping busy; mom is now teaching part-time at the college.  She loves it and realize this is definitely where she wants to be.  It's only one course, but with prep times and the actual lectures, it does occupy most of her time.  When things settles down, she will be looking at some volunteer work as well, just to keep busy.

For myself, I am busy at work.  With the incoming projects coupled with the everyday duties, it's enough to keep me occupied.  I'm on a hiatus from my studies....pretty much my heart isn't in it at this time.

Just wanted you to know that for both your mom and I, not a day goes by without us thinking of you and both our lives are much poorer without you being here.   I know when you severed all contact with us at the beginning of November, all that was brought up were the negatives in our lives, however it is only fair to point out, that we all had some great times throughout the years; example mom taking you puddle jumping after the rain when you were little, the travels we had as a family trying out restaurants...there were many more highlights in the twenty odd years together.  There is one think you need to understand, whether mom and I are separated/divorced or not, you will always be the one bright light in our lives.  We need to make this perfectly clear, there are no regrets in having you as our son and will always love you.

Both your mom and I waiting for the day you'll pick up the phone and call, even an email to say you are doing fine and is happy.  Until then, we'll always be..................mom and dad.

Love,
dad

I've recalled a discussion with my friend Miraine about possessioning and mediumship after seeing episodes of medium on tv. The discussion was around if all spirits tapped into by mediums do not wish their living conduits harm.  I've always held the position that if such is the case, why would practicioners of the art bring up their protective shields prior to contact.  It's been four years since that conversation, and then yesterday, I happen to run across a posting on depossessioning on the Psyche website.  On a post by David Lang, he put forth from a shaman's point of view, the possession can occur by spirit beings of power, not of human origin.  These being are commonly referred to as demons by western culture.  He also mentioned he does not like using the label "evil" as they are not evil any more than a tiger is evil, but they are dangerous.  This was backed up by another posting by Christine C, who stated when channeling, it would be naive to assume all spirits are kind and loving.  She stated even "they" have their own agenda.

Not too long ago, I had a discussion with my son who is studying indigenous cultures and beliefs.  I stated my positioning when it came to the spirit side of the discussion, whether it be shamanism or wicca, that there is no point in going by strictly a label.  The bottom line is, if there is an entity which wishes you harm (from one's own perspective) then, such entities must be avoided.  I liken this to the fact that only a moron would walk up to a hungry lion and say "here kitty, kitty, kitty" without the distinct possibility of being its dinner.  In the end, a take on any situation is to decide if need warrants putting yourself at risk...to be something or someone else food, as THEY also are required to see to their needs and follow their nature, be they jungle cats, humans or whatever.

It's been at least three years since I've visited the Souvlaki Hut in Clarkson Village, Mississauga.  It's funny as time goes by, we have fond memories of places visit and associated feelings for them.  While living in Mississauga, this particular Souvlaki Hut (before it became a franchise three years ago) was the family's favourite greek restaurant.  We tried other greek restaurants, but somehow, we always returned to this restaurant.  Food is still good, the present manager has been in place for three years and the cook was quite engaging.  Spoke about the situation in Egypt and the Middle East, and Spain...and some of the social/econo status.  Memory lanes.......

It's been a long day...tiring with many issues.  It is good to get home, enjoy some quiet time and reflect on the day.  Mind you, sometimes it best to forget the day's events.  The problem with getting into a reflective mood is ones thought turn to my favourite son (actually my only son)...I miss him.